Wants and Consequences
Growing up in Benin City (Edo state) you are bound to meet funny people. I remember when we would clog together and talk about the chick of the town, at some point someone would hint his interest in the girl, and I had one friend who always said funnily, “you go fit chest billing?”. This can easily be translated to, can you keep up financially after getting the girl? The consequence of hitting on high-maintenance women is costly.
For a long time, we have always thought of consequences as past tense, a post-scene, or a sequel to our actions. Consequences are results of your actions, but what happens when you know the consequences of your actions and still carry on?
As human beings, we are driven by what we want. Want is such a plain word, but it holds us by the neck, yanking us by the collar through mud, shit, and dirt into an abysmal void of need. Everything we want has consequences, they come with add-ons like extra pages of a contract, and we sign away our souls for ephemeral glory.
Recently, I ordered some stuff online—I wanted them so much. I was willing to risk being scammed, and alternatively, experiencing the product being, what I ordered vs what I got. I went ahead knowing if it came out exactly how I wanted, it was a win, and vice versa, a loss, one I was willing to drink down. As I sat and pondered, wanting things is like a bet that your satisfaction will far outweigh your dissatisfaction—sporty bet kings, what are the odds?
Psychologists and neuroscientists say that to be truly happy, we have to always seek something more. I sat for a minute and thought about this. Motivational speakers always orate along the line of being content, science argues that we can never truly be content. Neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp argues that of the seven core instincts of the human brain, seeking is the most important. The dopamine neurotransmitter linked to the reward and pleasure sensation is present in all mammals, it acts as a ground for motivation for activities (For context: in neuroscience, reward happens in the brain, simply put, it stimulates a nice feeling).
Coherently, this means that there is a reward in seeking. This means that animals are rewarded for exploration and seeking information for viability. A research was carried out where rats were placed in a skinner box, arranged in a way they could stimulate (electric shock) themselves by pressing a lever. Panksepp notes in his book, Affective Neuroscience, “Self-stimulating animals look excessively excited, even crazed when they work for this kind of stimulation,”. The rats did not seem to find electrocution pleasurable, instead of being driven by any reward, he argues, the rats were motivated by the need to seek itself.
A study was carried out between an accident victim and a lottery winner. The result: the accident victim was happier than the lottery winner because they got satisfaction from everyday small activities; seeking is continuous here. Whereas the lottery winner had reduced daily pleasure and had a lower happiness score on the test. Most times the thrill of wanting something is not in getting it but in the process of getting it. The process of seeking most times is more rewarding than what is being sought.
So we understand why we want and why we continue to want, but do we understand the consequences of the things we seek?
I have always wondered if it was intellectual laziness that made most people, countries, and businesses make important decisions without foreknowledge of their endeavors. In 2019, I started being interested in the crypto and trading space. I met a lot of people who made investment decisions without good reason or just inshallah, surfing on trends only got them stranded in the middle of the ocean. Most were willing to bet their life savings on word of mouth, believing big risk equals big reward, but sadly, an uncalculated risk is skydiving without a parachute hoping to land in water.
Thread my mind with me: You are about to make a big decision, and your mind tells you possible consequences, but you do it anyway. Would you do it differently if you were cautioned by someone other than yourself, would you hesitate?
If we listen to external advice, why do we not trust our inner cautioning voice? Earlier this year I wrote on self-sabotage, could it be that we do not entirely trust our judgment? Could it be we do not feel we want what's best for ourselves or are so used to going against our inner voice that we can’t tell what’s good or bad advice, we just discard all? If it has been working out well for some people, I won’t blame them for just trusting their first thoughts.
Another reason why people ignore consequences is perspective. Perspective plays a big role in how we navigate life. Perspective is a result of our environment, education, and social interaction. Comparing both conversations I had with financially-struggling individuals one educated, and the other illiterate. I asked what they thought about investment and saving, they both came up with similar answers suggesting that they made too little to invest or save. Where they differed was saving money. The illiterate was more practical about saving than the graduate. It shocked me when I thought more about the conversation.
The illiterate knew no one was coming to save him, he has no hope of any white-collar job, thus he has modeled his psyche to saving for whatever he wants. Whereas the graduate derailed in this aspect because of information. The graduate has been fed structured information that the way to wealth is by getting a job or starting a business only. The mentality of the graduate is that he can not save unless he gets a good job—he can no longer think out of the box. The psyche of the illiterate is that he needs to save to survive. Due to the need to survive, the illiterate who was handicapped is now one vital life skill closer to the graduate thus closing the social gap between them. The graduate has been conditioned to think that he can only live properly when he gets a white-collar job. Even when he gets it, he is more or less lethargic because he has still not equipped himself with indispensable life skills that he lacked. As life goes on, because of their different perspectives the graduate is more likely to make decisions that do not favour him simply out of ignorance. But not ignorance due to what he only knows, but ignorant to the consequences of him not learning. Deep in his soul, at the back of his mind, he knows the start to the solution of his problem is to acquire more knowledge on the subject matter, but for some reason has chosen not to do so while knowing the consequence of not acting. If you leave your destiny to hope, accept what you get in good faith.
I was having a conversation with my friend kelvin, he told me “rich people are only rich because they live below their means” I don’t think I’ll ever forget that. Whenever I want to make reckless financial decisions, I remember that and my cravings die instantly. Nothing is stopping the graduate from reading and learning about investment and saving schemes but, in a way, we feel content with what we know, assuming we ought to already know what we do not actually know. This in itself is another form of self-sabotage; a conscious effort by your mind to stop you from seeking knowledge, knowledge that will benefit the mind. The major difference between the graduate and the illiterate is perspective. Life has both handed them the tools to go through life, the one who sharpens it excels.
I think we ignore the obvious consequences of our actions because of the instant relief/reward we get from our actions. It takes discipline to be able and look ahead, weigh your risks, and then make a decision.